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Teens, Tech & God


Dec 24, 2019

In this episode, Dr. John addresses the rise in teen suicide and shares an important message to help parents understand the current situation and what to do to help their teens.

/// According to the Mayo Clinic, the warning signs of teen suicide include:

  • Talking or writing about suicide.
  • Withdrawing from social contact.
  • Experiencing sudden mood swings.
  • Using alcohol or drugs more frequently.
  • Expressing a sense of hopelessness.
  • Taking part in risky or self-destructive behavior.
  • Changing eating or sleeping patterns.
  • Giving away belongings for no apparent reason.

The new study was published June 18, 2019 in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

/// If you are concerned your child is thinking about suicide:

  • If your child is talking about any level of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they’re feeling changes in their mood or level of stress, or having suicidal thoughts. Asking your child directly about suicide will not increase their risk or plant the idea. It will create an opportunity to offer support and let them know you care enough to have the conversation.
  • You can say, “It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately. Does it ever get so tough that you think about ending your life?”
  • Talk with your child about how to seek help. If you fear they may be at risk, get professional help right away.
  • Let them know you’ll be there for them no matter what, that your love is unconditional, and that you’ll help them get the help they need to get through this challenging time.

/// Ten things you can do to help your teen:

  1. Don't let your teen's depression or anxiety snowball. Let's not wait for children or youth to come to us with their problems or concerns. Knock on the door, park yourself on the bed, and say, "You seem sad. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help."
  2. Listen—even when your teen is not talking. Not all, but most kids who are thinking about suicide (this is called suicidal ideation) tip off their troubled state of mind through troubled behaviors and actions. Studies have found that one trait common to families affected by a son's or daughter's suicide is poor communication between parents and child.
  3. Never shrug off threats of suicide as typical teenage melodrama. Any written or verbal statement of "I want to die" or "I don't care anymore" should be treated seriously. Often, children who attempt suicide had been telling their parents repeatedly that they intended to kill themselves.
  4. Seek professional help right away. If your teenager's behavior has you concerned, don't wait to contact your pediatrician. Contact a local mental health provider who works with children to have your child or youth evaluated as soon as possible so that your son or daughter can start therapy or counseling if he or she is not in danger of self-harm. However, call your local mental health crisis support team or go to your local emergency room if you think your child is actively suicidal and in danger of self-harm.
  5. Share your feelings. Let your teen know he or she is not alone and that everyone feels sad or depressed or anxious now and then, including moms and dads. Without minimizing his anguish, be reassuring that these bad times won't last forever. Things truly will get better and you will help get your child through counseling and other treatment to help make things better for him or her.
  6. Encourage your teen not to isolate himself or herself from family and friends. It's usually better to be around other people than to be alone. But don't push if he says no.
  7. Recommend exercise. Physical activity as simple as walking or as vigorous as pumping iron can put the brakes on mild to moderate depression.
  8. Urge your teen not to demand too much of himself or herself. Until therapy begins to take effect, this is probably not the time to assume responsibilities that could prove overwhelming. Suggest that he or she divide large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones whenever possible and participate in favorite, low-stress activities. The goal is to rebuild confidence and self-esteem.
  9. Remind your teen who is undergoing treatment not to expect immediate results. Talk therapy and/or medication usually take time to improve mood. Your child shouldn't become discouraged if he or she doesn't feel better right away.
  10. If you keep guns at home, store them safely or move all firearms elsewhere until the crisis has passed. If you suspect your child might be suicidal, it is extremely important to keep all firearms, alcohol, and medications under lock and key.

/// Where to get help

There are several reputable organizations and ministries that offer support groups for parents and family members of suicide victims. It would be worth your while to contact some of the following groups for further information:

SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) https://save.org/
The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry https://www.aacap.org/
The American Association of Suicidology https://suicidology.org/
The Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program https://yellowribbon.org/

You should also engage the services of a professional counselor as you work your way through the aftermath of this experience, and we highly recommend that you include the entire family in the counseling process. Focus on the Family’s Counseling department can provide you with a list of qualified Christian therapists in your area who specialize in dealing with problems of this nature. Their number is 855-771-4357. Call them for a free consultation.

/// Additional resources